Flashback into the Future and Pieces of Thoughts

My recent work with Loyola Robotics as a mentor gave me a sneak preview of what the future might be like. In those commutes to Loyola Robotics, I sort of see new dimensions.

9:03PM Friday night, I walked out of Loyola Robotics lounge. I tapped my STM pass to get in the Metro station, bumping shoulders, squeezing through the gaps between commuters while voicing a series of "Excusez-moi". Sitting down, I turned on my laptop to do a bit of really unproductive programming as my mind was occupied with...stuff.

* * *

Thought #1
I can't wait to open that bottle of cold beer sitting in my fridge then go out for a cheap bite to release build-up of the day's stress.

Thought #3:
Those who say "high school is the best time of your life" have certainly not gone to college.
Besides the 8AM labs and the 11:59PM CAPA assignment, there's also time set aside for lectures, walking to lectures, lunch, an afternoon snooze. But what makes college different from high school is the power to choose WHEN (if I decide to) to do them.

Thought #68:
I like how learning is no longer focused on the textbooks and grades are just capital letters ranging from A to F, which has less variability on the future than they did in high school. Aside from cracking books every now and then, I am spending more and more time out in the city or taking a weekend trip somewhere.

Thought #79:
Being put in college on a full-scholarship certainly has created a disillusion of the value of money. My bank balance has been on a steady decline to keep up with the Montreal-style of life. They say that's exactly why idiots go broke after they win the lottery. I'm glad this part-time volunteering has made me conscience of my spending.

Thought #104:
Just look at all those people around me taking this train. There's a mother and her daughter on the other side, sitting safely on her mother's laps. There's a middle aged man to my left; he looks like he has a lot on his mind. There's a group of teenage high school girls to my right, dressed very well, and they are probably discussing Edward Cullen and the New Moon...now enters a business man in suit, he's certainly dressed to impress. At the other door, an old man enters, he looks like he's been out too long in the cold. I stood up, gave him my seat.

Thought #105:
No wonder 'college' isn't just an extension of high school; not only is 'college' spelled differently, it attaches an identity beyond the definition of "a learning institution". If I were to define 'college', it is a lifestyle set on that fine boundary between being a student and a citizen enjoying the full responsibility of himself and his role in the society.

* * *

"Station Magiiiiiille" the speaker announced, in French, as the train pulled to a gentle stop. The doors open. I stepped out. Doors close. I turned around to look back, a few pairs of eyes looked back. We had taken a part of journey together, but now we're off to different paths.

The beer is just up the hill.

Through wind and rain,
the fire burns on capital hill;
Especially,
when one makes note of its existence in a setting in the water that is far
too bold too cold,
to make a steady foothold for its continued luminescence in the dark in the light
Regardless of time,
old age or prime
So to wait...
Heaven closes its blinds


But what liking of it
is to a man's desire, his intrinsic fire
The power within him, the passion driving him
Topped by his confidence,
his humour, his transcendence
to make impossible a possible and probable
But hold...
so to speak
As the river floods, tide turns
Letters
fetter into words, words into meanings to conjure feelings
Turning history a mystery bringing misery
Of the days he's forgotten
Dug up old memories
buried at the core,
over on the other
side of shore
Underneath the floor behind a locked door
But wait but why wait
Clearly he's wrong, she's gone
But he's strong
The fire still burns
on the capital hill
He walks towards infinity
away from capital hill

Campus Squirrels

I wasn't having the greatest today, so instead of digging those Physics problems at the library, I spent the afternoon watching squirrels.

Late autumn calls for a time of busy preparation; for the squirrels, it's to store food, for us students, it's to ace those final exams...for the Toronto Maple Leafs, it's time to win some games. But doesn't matter if you're a squirrel a student or belong to the Leafs organization, we all share the same sense of urgency that is presently felt. We have feel this urgency because we have dreams and goals to realize. But maybe I'm just too eager.

The campus squirrels are interesting to observe. Unlike the squirrels from the wild, these lil creatures thrive in the urban culture by taking advantage of the litterers. I've seen squirrels dragging full-sized sandwiches, crackers, and fruits to their 'hide-out'. For the sandwiches, the squirrels would hide it somewhere first, then break it down to smaller pieces and make several trips making the deposit. And before they do so each time, they always swing their heads around to make sure other squirrels aren't watching. They don't ever seem frustrated by the size of their findings.

If I can be a bit more like a squirrel, I'd take learning piece by piece, take some time off to examine the situation and focus on the big picture. Consistently and efficiently, I know I'll make turn that B to an A ;)

Maybe the Leafs, too, can win some games this way.

The Friday Flow

Woke up at seven
Felt the morning twist
Snapped my watch
Right on my wrist
Brushed up
Washed up
Ready to put on a show
Locked the door
Walked the floor
I was ready to go

Grabbed a muffin
a coffee
from Bee-Em-Ehchb (BMH)
Down the hill I went
On a lingering stroll
The fresh air
Clean hair
Being undoubtedly flair
like a new wall
Clean stall
make the bathroom glare

13km per hour
chilly wind blew
North to south,
a flock of geese flew

Now sitting alone
in this lecture hall
Waiting for econ
class to begin

Took out my pen
And scribbled down a verse
And a verse and a verse
Right after a verse
Them verses combine
Pieced into a poem
A space they confine
Some call it a home

Now that prof's here
I better go
Another lecture
A conjecture
To get with the flow
I hope you too
are enjoying this day
Watch out - stay safe
Avoid swine flu

The Ghost of the Plains of Abraham

Halloween 2009 is a dark and gloomy day; but at least, the weather is in sync with the spirit of Halloween.

I spent this day in Quebec City, some 300KM away from Montreal - Halloween marks the championship day of the Quebec Provincial Cross-Country Championships. Location: Plains of Abraham, Quebec City.

The Battle of the Plains of Abraham was arguable the most significant battle ever fought in North America. Ironically, our race on the same battlefield 500 years later is our most important 'battle' this season.

My team and I arrived on Friday night. After 3 and a half hours on the Coach bus through the weekend traffic, we arrived at our hotel, had our team dinner, and did a bit of team bonding before we rested our bodies for the final battle next day.

6:30AM, morning of Halloween, we awakened our bodies, and drained in some high-octane breakfast. By 9:30, we arrived at the battlefield, the Plains of Abraham. The Redmen sworn loyalty to their General; we will not surrender until the last man is down, we did not plan to "live" after we cross the finish line.

I've been through this before, many times. As soon as that number is pinned on my singlet, I'm mentally ready to race, going through the same emotions as if each race is a movie, and I've rewinded it and hit replay. I remember giving the talks on the starting line, I remember the huddles we used huddles, and connect our souls to the bodies next to us... no difference this time.

* * *

The first gunshot sounded at 11:15AM, signaling the beginning of the battle. Rain began to fall, mixing well with the dirt on the hills. The Redmen formed a long, thin line, two-men deep as historically strategified by General Wolfe. We bursted out towards the Western front. Fierce fighting began. Row by row, men fell and they were left behind the pack.

Five loops, 10KM, 98 men, the battle couldn't have been more intense. Sherbooke, with its veteran generals, dominated the front. Behind them were McGill and Laval, who matched shot-for-shot, man-for-man...stride-for-stride. At 61 pts a piece, we tied Laval for 2nd place. Laval reserve army, however, outnumbered that of ours, claimed victory, and a trip to the Nationals...

I clocked my personal best, finished better than what had been expected of me, but the day remained to be dark and gloomy. Despite of a personal success and a rare gratitude from the coaching staff, I was more hurt than ever. As cold and stoic as I normally am, I was uneasy with the latest defeat. Could I have possibly had the feelings to feel a heart-break? After all the miles logged under the shoes, the loops through the woods, the push-ups, the ice-baths, the pain the dedication, all there left to say is, "better 'luck' next season"?

I fell on my knees, soaking in the rain in the open field. Body trembling in cold, lips purple, with two soul-less eyes staring down.
I am the ghost, on the Plains of Abraham.