My Pops

Today is the day we celebrate the fathers in our lives.

Though there are many, I'd like to write about three particular "Fathers" in my life. Not all of which are my biological father of course! I've left few clues to let you figure out their identities.

The first is a man who taught me the ingredients of success: talent and hard-work. In my days as a semi-professional mid-distance runner, he unleashed my competitive spirit, a hoard of energy that I did not know existed. Talent, I didn't have much of; hard-work made the difference. To my coach, I was never strong enough, quick enough, nor was I ever good enough... Everyday is a defeat. But he instilled something in me that turned me into a monstrous machine on the track:

As the world blacks-out, as I turn deaf from the fanatic cheers from the stadium, I only see him. I know exactly where he is. He'd be there glancing at his stopwatch, then me, then back to his watch. I'd shut-off the blaring alarm going off throughout my body and push microns beyond the length of which my legs could extend. I'd shut-off all sounds but tune in his instructions, followed by a split-second loss of consciousness that felt as long as the age of universe. The machine finally falls apart at the finish line and I, struck by the reality of pain and suffering, embrace the taste of defeat. Through him, I grasp along the fine line between breaking-point and break-through.

I lived and breathed the vapour of synthetic rubber, a scent of which still triggers an unexplained, explosive rush of adrenaline. Yes, everyday was a defeat; a defeat of my body to complete exhaustion. Next day, I'd do it again. But coach showed me a new way of looking at it: I am my biggest enemy. I have to defeat myself.

The second "father" is my source of intellectual inspiration. A conversation with him is never boring, we can talk for days and nights without ever running out of topics. When we talk, the process is mentally exhausting because of the depth and breadth of our discussions. Though it is his criticism of my work that empowers me to be an even more critical thinker. Yet as much as we attempt to bullet-proof arguments, no idea can be without flaws. But I think we can inch near the level of perfection through meticulous attention to details. A father, this man sharpened my mind.

The third man is my father. He is the basis of my characters. My father isn't without flaws in personality, and he knows it. Growing up, my father had never encouraged me, nor ever told me he's proud of me. But lately, that has changed. He defined my characters, through what he is and what he isn't, what he can and what he cannot do.

Given enough pressure, ordinary graphite into extraordinary diamond.

Short Prose: Roads

I write, as I'm on the road.

Before we had roads, we traveled across wilderness on foot or by horse. When those paths are traveled over and over again, they become trails. And when many many people go through it many many times, we built a road over the trail to smoothen our journey. We've came up with various "roads" to overcome various terrains and obstacles -mountains and valleys, desserts and forests- so we can get anywhere from Point A to Point B. All we need is a map or perhaps a GPS, for those of us who are directionally challenged!

But even with roads, maps and GPS, a journey can still be difficult and unbearable. Sometimes, we'd have to travel on gravel and dirt road because there simply isn't an alternative. Other times the road could just be too long to walk, the destination too far. Our shoes wear down, as do our spirits. Fatigue sets in and frustration seeps out. And of course, there're also the occasional thunderstorms and snow blizzard, or perhaps a traffic jam that robs away any remaining positivity we have...

But hey, as long as we are on the right road! Just take a look back, and we'll find ourselves coming a long way from where we started. We just need to re-focus and think about our values; we chose to go on such journey because we believed in greater things in store at our destination; this makes everything else secondary.

Whether you are walking down the asphalt road or the metaphoric road of life, remember to take breaks, and perhaps wonder off a lil to explore the peripherals.

So, let's take a walk...

Quickie: The Two Lines that Changed the World

If I may do the unthinkable, to simplify the complexity of the world into two simple lines, I'd draw an utility curve, and a budget constraint line.

The utility curve outlines our tendencies to make one decision over another, in the realm of our imaginations.
The budget constraint brings us back to earth, limiting what we can and cannot do with what we have.

The differences in our perception of these two curves allow us decisions, interactions; they trigger passion, ambition, innovation... they also lead to peace, conflict, and war.

Simplifying complexity...a beautiful concept isn't it?

Short Prose: Mayfly

Springing into summer, my daily runs along the canal drew my attention to a special insect: mayfly.


Not much of an entomologist myself, but I do find mayflies to be some fascinating creatures. If everything in this world serves a purpose, then mayfly may just be one of nature's most wise professors. It gives us a worthwhile perspective to life that we may otherwise under-appreciate. Oh the forces of divine nature... Surreal.


Mayfly spends 1 or 2 years growing, spending most of that time in water. But once when the temperature is right, it matures to be an adult; how glorious and long-waited?! It dances and it swirls and twirls around and around like a child on the playground. Yet...that clock is ticking, ticking down to its death hour, or death minute to be more precise. An adult mayfly’s lifespan lasts as short as 30 minutes, that is, under normal circumstances. 


Such is our mayfly. And such is the wisdom of mother nature.
As Diem puts it, “It lives, breeds, and dies all in one day.”


That, ladies and gentlemen, is beautiful.

Quickie: Possibilities and Mysteries

Too often, possibilities remain mysteries...because one doesn't make an initiative to "say hello"
I didn't say "hello", but I said "Thanks" and passed this note to the girl as I was leaving the cafe.
I wonder if I will ever hear from her...

Short Prose: D-Day, A Tribute to Canadian Troops

Let's go back to 68 Years Ago today.


War is like a game, but not so much fun to play, especially if you’re a young soldier walking on a thin line between life and death on the front line...


June 6, 1944. Normandy, France.


It’s the early morning of D-Day. Operation Overlord, the turning point of WWII, officially began with rounds of aerial bombardment. Following suit, on the Northern coast of France, allied troops, under the command of Dempsey and Montgomery, initiated a surprise landing on the beaches of Normandy. The 3rd Canadian Infantry Division, 2nd Canadian Armoured Brigade received the call of duty. Objective: Juno Beach.


Brutality begins... A storm of machine gun bullets swept through, a wave of soldiers fell. More shells exploded, blasting human flesh into thin air. Half of our men in the first wave were lost in between the rounds of gun fires, lighting the Northern sky.


The second wave of landing initiated. Tanks advanced fearlessly to clear the paths, infantry followed, running and crawling to dodge bullets from afar. The troops moved in further, closer to the base of the seawall where the German batteries rooted atop... More explosions.


As you are familiar with the outcome of the story, Canadian army was the only division to reach the objective and had penetrated deeper into the German territory than any other on D-Day. 


13,000 brave souls lived to tell the tale.
31-Million are living to tell the tale.
This is only one of them.

Age of Algorithm

Summer nights cannot go by without music. So last night, a friend and I attended a feature presentation on the Science of Opera. We got a taste of top-notch research as well as several soul-chilling musical performances.

I’ve noticed this trend in our society, that we’ve entered an age of algorithm. From business, to finance, to internet, to genetics, and now music, quantitative models have overtook our lives with  efficiency and accuracy.

Anyone who had ever worked at McDonald’s can certainly relate to this transformation. Not only has the art of cuisine been boiled down to an algorithm, so did the details of running the business. In the fast-food industry, everything an employee ever need to do has been thoroughly thought through, from the cashiers to the cooks, from the supervisors to managers. Algorithms are used to find the perfect store locations, hire the exact employees, and put out just the right amount of advertisements.

Yet we are far from the limit; science and numbers have just gotten more powerful over the years. The super-computers on Wall street eliminate (and profit from) arbitrage opportunities. The efficiency of Google’s search algorithm brings us information in fractions of a millisecond. The map of human genome tells us the types of diseases we are susceptible to, how intelligent we will be, and what kind of careers best suit us. And last night, I learned that our enjoyment of music is related to the physical characteristics of our brain, and how music gives us pleasure.

As great as our achievements in understanding music, I think we can do even better.

We’ve placed so much emphasis on the “science of art” in recent years, perhaps now is the time that we should shift the paradigm back to appreciating the “art of science”. If only we can go back to the realm of non-exact certainty, if only there lies a unconventional probability that is against all odds.

We call this hope.
I find it truly beautiful.

Changing Times

June 4th is a kind of a special day.

As you’ve probably heard or read, some 23 years ago today, there was a student protest on the Tiananmen Square in China that was confronted by the military. Tanks rolled out, so did soldiers and machine guns.

My father was in Beijing. He was there, at Tiananmen Square, June 4, 1989.

My father didn’t believe in the cause of the protest as much as he went to support his friends. They were seeking democracy. And they held onto their principle of peaceful resolution...at least the students did.

Yet more than two decades have passed, our society is in the midst of a similar situation; a face-off between the students and the government, a clash between principle and pragmatics. As much as I am pro-tuition hike, and acted on my beliefs, I’ve recently moved on from the conflict at hand. Given state of the world we are in, perhaps it’s time to dissociate ourselves from all the negativity and rediscover what makes us “us”.

I speak from, if I may put a spin on Paul Krugman, the conscience of a conservative. Let’s put things in a greater perspective, the European Union has been battling a monetary crisis for years. The world economy has been adjusting to the forces of globalization. As we, the advanced economies, shift towards a knowledge economy, many parties suffer as a result of the widening knowledge gap. Union uprise, unemployment, companies losing competitivity, and we see our wages drop and standard of living decreases. Meanwhile, crony capitalism swarms the financial sector like a colony of vengeful bees.

On the mesoscopic level, We have a government that operates a different set of rules for women and minorities. We have a media that brings us full of unpleasant news, of endless gruesome murders and tragic accidents. These are the things we relate to on a daily basis, as they dictate our dialogue and conversation. Outside of our conscious minds, we are building up uncertainties and confusion upon layers of stress and bitterness. This is the environment that turns students into terrorists, police into criminals, and friends into enemies. The tuition increase is merely the spark that ignited the passion.

People everywhere are losing their principles, with patience on a short leash; they no longer act on principle, but on compulsive passion. The fine line between passion and anger makes passion a dangerous thing for the moment being.  Do we simply limit ourselves to trash-talk behind others' back? Or have we forgotten about the beautiful things in life?


There are no winners in this. So perhaps the best way to live the times like this is to look inward for happiness and the rare hidden beauty among ugliness.

I will no longer let the environment affect my days. I will do what I please; to pursue my interests, to care for my body, to amend friendships....and live free.

Prose: Storm Restoration

By the time the sunlight stroke through the window this morning, there were no sign of last night's chaos and disorder. The dawn restores all that is wild to a state of normality. I suppose the nature has its ways to balance the orders of things. After all, there is no force without an equal and opposite force, for such are nature's pairs; sky and earth, people and places.

I wonder how could one exist by its entirety? Sky, on its own, is a space of emptiness, structureless, materialess. Earth, standing alone, consists soil, rocks, and metals, but holds no things. Yet nature's forces mix the two, such is how we get the space above, and a foothold below. Add in the laws of physics, patterns of chemistry, and a hint of spontaneity, life sustains. But those, people of antiquity have already pondered, through Greek classics.

I suppose in the modern world, people and places share in a similar dynamic. People, not at the right place, are lost. Places, not having the right people, are without hope. Hostile people creates a hostile place, and a hostile place turns pacific people hostile. What could, then, restore balance the way dawn restores light to darkness and chaos? 

It's not quite so simple. But I'm happy as long as we need not to abide by the place's constraints. Liberated, I feel.

Like the rain drops smashing onto the window, it is no longer dictated by the medium of space or the direction of the wind. Freedom, like nothing else.

Put on a lil tune and enjoy ;)

The End of an End and the Beginning of a Beginning

It’s been over a year since I’ve written in this blog. Oh, was that hell of a year or what?! As those who lived through it with me could attest, it was eventful and exciting, as usual ;)

I think it’s only appropriate that I continue from where I left off. I'm afraid I'll skip the details of the life from beautiful angles.

380 days ago, I stepped into CED-Q Head Quarter first time. I was a coming off my second year of undergraduate, with bare-minimum knowledge of economics. I’ve even wondered how I landed that internship which I clearly struggled for a little while. How silly was I to concern over my work attires!

Whatever doubts I had, have forever disappeared. In my four break-through projects at CED-Q, I’ve become fond of my work, my colleagues, and economics. I discovered an aspect of my interest I never had known, and the constant intellectual challenges facing me each time I step into the R&A directorate. 12 months, I’ve gained the insights into the future of economic development, in which I’ve pressed my fingerprints all over. I’ve done my best, history will do the rest.

This afternoon I cleared my cubicle. I’ll miss the morning greetings, and the evening good-byes. I’ll miss the coffee chats, and Friday lunch-out. All of which, I suppose, could be replaced in my next job. But what about the “leap of logic” my boss took when he assigned me my project? I’m unsure. The chief confided in the person that I am to get the job done. The rest? I can only improve to prove his approval.

With a last walk around the office, I concluded my days at CED-Q with a round of handshakes with my colleagues and friends.

Now that’s in the past, now’s the time to move forward.
A box in arms, the elevator door shut and descended from 8th floor.

I’ll continue to improve myself :)