The Romantics of "I Don't Know"

Our world places so much emphasism on logic and reason. People are always trying to explain everything with science and mathematics. We, or at least in the mainstream society, qualify things that are either black or white as truth, while pushing the idea of "Everything must happen for a reason" to its limit.

Yet such rigidness is the product of human intellectual breakthrough old as Renaissance and recent as the Information Age.

Sure, maybe everything does happen for a reason, but how about some alternatives?

Instead of knowing what's going to happen as a logical consequence, what happens when we put future on suspense? Is it not why we watch thrillers, read books, and attend sports games? It is exactly that uncertainty that we find so discomforting yet intriguing. There's a famous quote by an anonymous that goes like this: "If you don't know where you're going, any direction you sail is a wrong direction."

I don't find that very romantic.

Without a meticulously devised plan, each day is like a whole new adventure; "I don't know" where I'll go, what I'm going to eat, who I'll meet, what's going to happen, or sometimes, where I'm going to sleep. It doesn't matter where life leads me as long as I know it is a path I chose instead of having a destination casted in a mold called society.

How about love? Is falling in love the process of certain hormones released from one's pituitary gland to initiate a series of reciprocal chemical reaction in one's brain at the sight of symmetry and proportionality of one's face and body catalyzed by simulating conversation and humour?

Or can I give a simpler 'reason': "I don't know, it just happens and it happened."

This is why I find the notion of "I don't know" kind of romantic. A world of certainty lack the romanticism of an "emotional rollercoaster". But I don't know, to me, "I don't know" is promising of mysteries and excitement. 

Painting: Caspar David Friedrich, Wanderer above the Sea of Fog
Romantic Era

The Search (3/3)

On Happiness

"What is happiness?" This is a million-dollar question. Although the model does not explain what 'happiness' is, it explains how to attain it. In the "Order of Search" model, one who attains happiness is one who searches for truth - at the highest state of mind.

At stage one, we encounter the emotion of 'happiness'. We discover things that put us in good mood, and we interpret those emotions as 'happiness'. With a basic understanding of happiness, at second stage, we actively search for things that make us happy (answers) and avoid things that make us unhappy. This is perhaps the naievite of teenage years, when we only focus on stimulating the brain to release stints of dopamine without considering consequences of our actions.

At stage three, we are trimming down the list of things that make us happy; things such as "watching Teletubbies" and "Listening to Cinderella Story again" may fall off the list. As that list get smaller and smaller, we begin to search for reasons why certain things make us happy.

Take the scenario of a high school party-holic who is obsessed with partying and "having a good time". If the person is at stage two, he would continue his life of a party. If the person is at stage three, he would be searching for reasons why he enjoys partying so much, and based on his findings, he may or may not change his behaviour; reasoning that he loves parties because "parties make him forget his other problems" and "parties allow him to build an useful social network" will have different impacts on his future actions. In this scenario, the latter person is at a higher state of mind regardless the fact both persons are partyholics.

Without any more reason, in the highest level, happiness must be found from within as the person develops the mental capacity to tolerate, forgive, and love.

On Love

Before the days we had our first girlfriend/boyfriend, we didn't really know what love is. We sort of have an idea through observing the world, which urges us to "find love". This is the stage of searching for meaning, when we are searching for a girlfriend/boyfriend simply because we don't have one.

At the next maturity level, we developed an image of an ideal person whom we wish to form relationship with. That image becomes the answer we are searching for. Have you had a friend who once said "She/he is the only one for me". This statement suggests the person has yet to be searching for reasons. We can make such conclusion because, for one, the youth is using his/her partner to fill a mental space that would be otherwise empty. Second, the statement makes no logical sense as most of people who said this does end up moving onto another person he/she fancies.

In the third stage, we go back to question that "image" we developed. Does it reflect our own values? In the phenomenon of "high school relationship", many relationships are built on the basis of social gains. Dating a certain someone will automatically bring you give you a certain social status, or gain you entrance to a certain "group". This explains why most high school relationships fail once the "group" dissembles.

Of course, there are other reasons why we date someone. At the stage where we begin to search for those reasons, our relationships could either take a huge turn, or fluorish evermore. In either case, the search for reason remain to be a critical stage and reflect a higher state of mind than those who are searching for answers.

At the highest state of mind, one no longer searches for reasons as the person realizes love needs no reason. Love is therefore a selfless act.

On Life

As you probably guessed, asking "What is the meaning of life" implies a person is at the lowest mental and most immature state according to this model, which will bring forth some controversy. However in this model sees a person who is simply searching for the meaning of life is someone very confused and lack forsight. The person does not know what to do with his/her life and finds life rather meaningless, as such, this person is still seeking for the 'meaning of life'.

At the second stage, people are searching for answers and different things to do. They are the people out in the real world experimenting and living life by doing a variety of things. At this stage, they do not have a clear vision yet, but have a general direction.

In the next stage, a person searches for the reason of life. Having experienced many endeavours, at this stage they ought to find the purpose of his or her life. This is far more than simply "doing something", people are "doing something" with a purpose.

If asking "What is the meaning of life" is immature, what does a person at the highest level ask? Simply "What is life?". He or she is no longer searching for reasons as they've already found the purpose of life. What is missing is still the truth of life; things explainable beyond reasoning. They are no longer using reasons to explain what life is but simply accept life for what its outcomes...but only at death will the person understand life.

Note:

Since I have yet to find truth, I lack the truth to explain truth.

Now that you've seen the model and its practicality, please leave your thoughts below in the "Comment" section.

The Search (Part 2/3 - extended)

Let's talk about how "Order of Search" could be used to better explain many things.

Teenage Behaviour and Choice Making

Teenage behavour is a direct result of one's state of mind. Regardless of one's chronological age, the maturity level of a person is determined by his or her mental age. The model says that the difference between "mature" and "immature" can be distinguished by finding out whether a person is searching for "answers" or "reasons".

Take the case where a principal at high school X made it clear to his students that he will not tolerate anyone being intoxicated at the school dance.

At stage two, a discontent teenager at high school who feels suppressed by his or her authority is likely to seek support from a group of friends who share similar ideology. By finding support from each other, they may purposely conduct activities to upset school authority in order to "send a message". From such action, teenagers feel that they've found the answers to solve the problems with school authority. In this case, the mentality of a person seeking for answer would be: "The principal says not to get drunk at the school dance, that sucks, but we're going to do it anyways to show him we, the students, are the majority. Problem 'solved'".

A mature teenager who feels discontent is one who searches for reasons in this case. He or she looks for reasons that caused the problems in the first place instead of looking for answers to the problems. He thinks to himself: "The reason principal X bans alcohol is because it is illegal and if something terrible happens as a result of intoxication, he's going to get into deep trouble from his authorities. However, as long as I don't cause any problems things will be fine. Therefore, we can still have some alcohol but we must control our limit so we can have a good time without making fools of ourselves."

Although in both scenarios the teen does end up going to the dance intoxicated, the teen who searches reasons considered the perspective of his authority before making his choice. In this model, we conclude the second is the more mature student.

Searching for answer: Problem ===> Answer.

Searching for reasons: Reason ===> Problems, Reason ===> Solution

Geniuses/Child-prodigy

In the case of persons with incredible IQ, the Order of Search model places them under "Search for meanings", which in terms of state of mind, is no better than other kids their age. Suppose a child with deep knowledge of mathematics and physics (which is a typical evaluation of genius at young age), the child is nevertheless still seeking for meanings for all these knowledge they have acquired and trying to make sense of them through problem solving.

In the case a genius, who has achieved the highest level of "needs" in Maslow's model and feels rejected, we can conclude he is yet searching for answers to solve his feeling of rejection. We can make such conclusion because the child does not understand exactly what the problem is, nor does he know that by taking another's perspective is an answer to his problems.

An older kid (pre-teen) in such case is in better position if he has grasped enough meanings; then he is able to find the problem and find answers to them.

Meanings ===> Problems

However

Not all child-prodigy has that problem. Take the case of young musicians. If they are searching for truth at such a young age. In fine tuning the most minute detail of their work, it shows that they have in their mind clear meanings, answers, reasons for their music. At such a high level, their goal is to communicate the findings of their inner truth in their music. In such case, the child has reached the highest level of state of mind and also fulfilled all the levels in Maslow's model. Empirical evidence supports that such child does not have social problems

The young musician's thinking would fall like this:"So I'm writing a composition for a large audience to tell the tragic story of Ralph and Lisa (meaning), and I feel the best way to use contrasting pieces to draw parallels to the plot in the story (answer). Doing so portrays the emotions that the characters are going through (reason), but I'm struggling with finding the perfect ending because I feel the ending is especially important in this story (search for truth)"

In the next and final part, I'll talk about more abstract topics of Happiness, Life, and Love. Stay tuned...

The Search (Part 1/2)

Entire life, we're constantly looking, searching for something. From infants to old-age, we are trying to fulfill different needs, as described by "Maslow's hierchy of needs". But that model has became a cliche; you've probably seen it a thousand times in different contexts.

However, there are many cases where Maslow's hierchy fails. Consider a genius with IQ over 150. Though he has fulfilled what Maslow would call the "highest level of needs", which are creativity, problem solving, acceptance of facts etc. However, these geniuses may lack their more-basic need for belonging. A significant number of cases have suggested geniuses and child-prodigies have anti-social behaviour and relatively lower EQ compared to their IQ. This phenomenon falsifies Maslow's claim that the highest level of needs can only be fulfilled once the lower ones are fulfilled.

Because of these evident flaws in Maslow's model, it's time we have a new model. I'm going to call it, Guo's Order of Search. Although "Search" and "Need" can be used interchangeably in this context, I decided on "Search" because it has a more active connotation than "Need".

So, here is a very brief version of my model. In Part 2, I'll use this model to explain many social phenomena.

In this model, I'm going to categorize people's psychological state of mind in a very abstract way based on the question "what is it that we're searching for?", of which I broke into four stages: Search for meaning, Search for answers, Search for reasons, and Search for truth. Like Maslow's model, each stage is associated with an age by empirical evidence. However, age is not bounded to any particular stage by any means. This model exceeds Maslow's in that higher state of mind cannot be reached without reaching the lower levels first, thus it can precisely pin-point a personal "mental age".

Search for meaning:

Entering this world, we had blank minds filled with nothing other than basic 'animalistic' instinct. In a world so new to us, our objective is to make sense of our surrounding. We're constantly looking for meanings of things, starting with the meanings of sounds and facial expressions. We cry in discomfort, and as such, sound of our cry gathers the attention of care-takers who then reduces the level of discomfort. We associate 'crying' as means to get attention, and the learning process continues.

As the world makes more sense to us, we begin to ask questions to further our database of 'meanings'. The search for meaning peaks in childhood and pre-teen; remember how much questions your younger siblins/cousins used to ask?

Search for Answers:

Unfortunately, the innocence of childhood ends when we begin to search for answers. Needing answers implies that we now have problems of our own that are yet to have an explanation.

No other stage where we dedicate most of our time to answers than those dreamy teenage years; we were quite fascinated yet puzzled by natural and social phenomena. Instead of searching meaning of things, we engage in a more active way of searching for answers to our questions. Instead of asking "What is the meaning of life?" the person enters the next level by actively searching for answers to answer his own question.

Search for Reasons.

In the search for reason, a person evolves into a higher-order of state of mind. One is to realize that previous answers could be short-lived, and many came about emotional responses. This for most people occur at college years and carries into mid-age. Through this time, we find many answers no longer apply to our questions. Yet instead of looking for answers, we are looking for reasons for the origin of questions and why things ought to be. Relying less on emotional responses and more on logic, people at this stage has the maturity to face future with a high degree of certainty.

Search for Truth

As bulletproof as sound logical reasons are, they can still be falsified in some circumstances. If reason is to logical truth, truth is to tautology. In the last stage, a person grasps inner truth. The person is not using logical analysis to seek reasons, rather the person goes through an intrinsic search that breaks logical rules in attempt to understanding questions of metaphysics....this, ladies and gentlemen, is the highest state of mind.

For some, this highest state occurs at young age, for some, it is the brief period of life before death. Looking at a person's tombstone, the most important thing on there is not the name, not the year of birth, no the year of death, but it's that tiny line that connects the two numbers. That tiny line is when a person's life happens

.